The last 12 months have not been easy for anyone. Think about where you were this time last year. We were in the middle of a pandemic! We still are, but a completely different stage. This time last year, I was in a daily tizzy on what to do about our wedding. The cases here in Texas were on the rise and climbing fast. It was to the point where my family in Greece was concerned about us visiting, let alone the concerns of our traveling guests. We held the faith as best we could and kept on with planning. We still had to get my fiance baptized and gather wedding documents, we didn’t want to stop for something we weren’t really sure of. Then, on July 1st, the European Union closed its borders to American travelers. And well, only a handful of us would’ve been able to get Greek travel papers and we couldn’t have a wedding without the groom!
On July 1st, 2020 we decided to finally pull the plug on the whole thing.
That morning was rough. We had to update everyone and get with our planners for a new game plan. Sure, it was easy, simple – they gave us a couple dates to choose from and we decided on July 24, 2021. Everything was already planned and set for the original August 21st wedding date by the time we decided to postpone. All we had to do was roll everything over to the new date, and wait 11 months. No big deal.
So then why the hell was I SO sad? Like, really, really sad. It was already a tough year, everyone was already going through so much, I had already been crying for 6 weeks straight at that point.
"People are dying from a new illness, the entire world is trying to navigate a pandemic, so many have lost their jobs, people still have their eyes shut to all sorts of systemic injustices in the Land of the Free and you're sad about having to postpone your wedding???" "Boo hoo. Little Princess is upset because she can't have her little destination wedding. Oh, too good to have your wedding here? You postponed it! You're still having a wedding, what are you crying about?!"
I was so mean to myself and wouldn’t allow myself to feel what I was really feeling. I told myself, “We have a new date, no big deal.” But it was a big deal. “Everything’s planned, we just have to sit back and wait. No worries.” But I was upset! I told myself everything was okay when it actually wasn’t.
After several of my relationships started to implode, I knew that my sadness was not just from postponing the wedding. There were deep wounds that postponing our wedding only poured vinegar on. And I wanted to see where they came from, so I started digging. I decided to go deep and started peeling back layer after layer after layer til I reached the core.
2021 is the year we grow, glow and heal ✨
And I took that sh*t seriously. We quickly learned that just because the calendar has a new date doesn’t mean bad things stop happening. I wanted to take what we learned from our trauma as collective and apply it to my life on a personal level. Mental Wellness became top priority for me – I started meditating, praying and doing yoga immediately upon waking up, created healthy routines and started seeing a therapist.
I made self-love a non-negotiable, daily practice.
As I started being kinder to myself, I started to feel and honor each and every emotion. After invalidating my feelings all my life and learning to deconstruct 3 decades of conditioning, my healing journey was NOT pretty. But it has been the most beautiful experience. I went really deep and found an abundance of love and gratitude for myself and this precious life!
Postponing a wedding is never easy, and certainly not fun. Add in a pandemic, failing relationships and systemic injustice, and I started unraveling at my seams. I knew the sadness wasn’t superficial. I could keep denying how I actually felt or make some changes. No one really talks about the ugly parts of healing, and we can get into that, but let me tell you – it is SO worth it.