I feel both unfazed & like I’m jolted to reality each time I look at the date. October. Already! A whole quarter of a year passed by and I mostly struggled with allowing myself rest and paid the price of emotional burnout. Finally I woke up one morning after thanking my mind, body & spirit with some peace and was ready to just get started.
This isn’t another ‘Life Update’ post, because I’m at a point where every ‘reason’ as to why I haven’t gotten started yet is actually just an excuse.
Okay, to be honest, I don’t believe that to be entirely true. Whatever happens in your life that throws you off balance is a completely valid reason . Since the last Quarter Update, my life (OUR lives, since I’m a married betch now 🥰) has been a W H I R L W I N D!
Having the most amazing time of my life after the most anxious time of my life truly felt like being woken up to a reality better than your wildest dream after being stuck in your worst nightmare.
All of July was chaos – the first two weeks were crazy finalizing our wedding and preparing for our trip. The first week in Greece was jam packed with last minute things to do before our wedding day (many meetings with our priest & even getting chastised! It was a very authentic experience) and just trying to enjoy the fleeting moments.
Our second week, after the wedding, was complete, ABSOLUTE BLISS. I was on such a high. My dopamine & serotonin levels were so overwhelming, I didn’t sleep for like 5 days straight.
First Month as Newly Weds
Anxious thoughts before a wedding are normal. However, I think 2020Pandemic brides developed their own kind of anxiety – the fear of throwing the biggest party of your life & everyone getting sick. We were dead set on our destination wedding in Greece, so the fear of getting it while traveling/there/at the wedding/traveling home was HIGH. By God’s grace, no one got sick and we had the best trip of our lives.
We got back Stateside and had lots of people to celebrate our nuptials with. We had a celebratory dinner at a friend’s house a week after our return and by the following evening, my new husband was running a fever and had chills + body aches. In sickness and in health, indeed.
To add insult to injury, we visited my new in-laws the day after that fateful dinner, and unknowingly spread it to them. Details aside, while it got us down bad for a good few days; it took them a long time to overcome the illness. At one point, both ended up in the Emergency Room and the newly-wed couple moved in for a week to take care of them… It was a crash course in Married Life.
August2021 Never Happened
Honestly… this isn’t the worst thing, because August 2021 would’ve been our first wedding anniversary, thankfully we were too busy on our wedding high & recovering from Covid to notice that the entire month slipped away into a moment of time.
All very valid reasons for a break! Here’s the thing though, burnout can result from many different things. It’s not just from doing too much. It can be from thinking or even feeling too much. And I very much needed rest from all 3 when I returned home. While my mind and body knew it, my spirit was in a state of unrest! I didn’t want to feel the yucky feelings of being somewhere in between. I wanted to know what the next step was. I wanted more but didn’t know which direction to start. And then something happened where we were FORCED to sit and be still.
Just sit & be still.
Rest is scary because the last thing you want is momentum lost just as you start to feel great. But don’t let that hold you back from gifting yourself the rest you crave. Sometimes the hardest part of falling off a routine or losing motivation is the fear of how you’re going to get it back. You’ll never know until you just get started.